Sobbing on my bedroom floor, my mother, who was, and still is, head-over-heels in love with the same man for 51 years, sat down next to me, put her arm around me and said, "There are a lot of fish in the sea." I clearly remember wailing, "But, I want this one." She said, "All things happen for a reason.If you feel you are worthy of love, then you can fully love.It sounds so simple, and yet we know how hard loving ourselves can be.
Through all of this, I have come to understand that I control my ultimate happiness. I was 18, and as often happens with first love, was completely blind to the fact that I was being manipulated and taken advantage of.-- but it's like compound interest: the more you have the more you get. As Emily Dickinson wrote, "The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience." The most important piece of love advice I ever got was this: "Treat yourself like a prize." The strange part is: I can no longer remember who first passed on the wisdom.(In my mind, it's some sexy woman-of-a-certain age with five ex-husbands, smoking a Virginia Slim 100.) But the real identity is lost to me.But I've seen miracles happen when people work at this...everything from relationships, career, raising kids, running a home, becomes more joyous.