Yet the NT person could be on the floor dying or in labour and the AS individual would walk over them to get to get to the computer. We are the housekeepers, house maintenance, child rearers and unpaid caregivers and Mental Health workers in the home.
Notice how I did not say ‘wife’ as that would mean there was a family, sharing dynamic involved, but the wife aspect was ink on a registration form for most of us.” ♦ have been married for 5 years to an aspie. I choose peace.” ♦ have been with my husband for 26 yrs.
o not minimize the extent of my having been changed from a vivacious, sensual, happy, loving, athletic, healthy, wealthy, bright, articulate, fairly socially adept human to being melded and molded to accommodate an autistic adult into exactly the opposite of who I am for the sake of a one-sided relationship.” ♦ alking with my ex-husband is like smashing my head against a wall or drowning in a river. Find a healthy and well functioning partner or live with a dog.
We were not talking the same language and misunderstandings were the rule. What is even more horrifying and disabling for us is the requirement on our part to patiently endure being corrected, directed, criticized and often rudely spoken to regularly by our AS partners, sometimes constantly, as they work on forming us into more complete and tolerable partners for themselves, while we weather the torpedo blasts of rage and reaction they direct towards us if we suggest an imperfection in them. I think not.” ♦ itting in the kitchen in the evening, Harry was verbally cruel. Life will be far more rewarding.” ♦ dated someone who had Asperger’s syndrome and it led to me having a breakdown and suffering from severe depression.
Do we just name and shame them on a website so other women can avoid? I had to ‘train’ my spouse to reply to me when I tell him I love him. Yet I am the one that has to handle everything and there is never someone there to help me.
And what about the issue of being a man enough to confess you are an aspie, on the first or second date? This is a psych condition that badly hurts women like me, after all. For a long time I pushed aside my friends when it came to social outings since my husband always seemed so awkward at these events.
They should come with a warning and anyone displaying these behaviors should be tested in school so that us normal people don’t get trapped in something that ruins our lives. In my area, a wife just did not travel without her husband, and if she did the gossip was terrible.
You also need to consider this–what if YOU become seriously ill and need to lean on him?
It’s like leaning on a five-year-old child who has equal control of your finances.
I cannot get him to move out—he just keeps coming up with excuses why he can’t. I had a life once.” ♦ lost my hair, I lost my home, my friends, family, health, career… If I could remove all emotional desire from myself, then I would be able to do this. That has to be one of the weirder prayers that has gone before the throne of God. The pastor said that sometimes our enemies are in our own families. As an example, when I was pregnant with our first daughter, I was put on bed rest for the last few weeks of my pregnancy due to an inability to walk from pelvic instability. He’s selfish, rude, he throws tantrums like a four year old to get his way, he’s deceitful, and manipulative to make sure he gets his way, he takes forever to get his task done and he ignores me and never talks to me.
He doesn’t care that I’m unhappy, isolated, unloved. Watching my kids cope with a man who never considers anyone but himself. That seems a strong word to apply to a spouse, but sometimes a lack of empathy, no matter what the cause, can honestly make you feel as if you are with an enemy rather than a friend! So, I am MISERABLY STUCK IN THIS FOR ALMOST 5 YEARS NOW. I had no friends where we lived as I hadn’t lived there very long. He’s only nice when he’s trying to get what he wants (sex), and when he doesn’t get his way, he gets loud and he says horrible things about me, with no understanding of really what he just said, he’s never sorry because he’s never to blame, and I feel like I’m raising a third child that will never grow up, and …