Or I just get placed in the gay or straight box against my will. I once had a gay guy tell me, during a night out, that I had “vagina cooties”—there wasn’t a second date.This sort of creepy scrutiny is one of the most annoying parts of being bi.But that would be denying parts of myself instead of celebrating all of my identity.Clearly, these gender ideas are an impediment to the diversity of the rainbow community.Male bisexuality, even when it is embodied in a traditionally masculine person, already blurs the lines between those outdated and severely limiting misconceptions.Add femme behavior, and you’ve really got a problem.
However, I was with my ex-girlfriend, and as we passionately made our bodies and lips into one on the dancefloor, it wasn’t my look that was turning people’s heads.For gay men, any expression of femininity can lead to regressive associations with sexual preferences (a more masculine guy is presumed to be a “top,” while a more feminine guy gets cast as the “bottom”).In these ways and many others, gender stereotypes hamper everyone in the queer community—but there are some distinct ways in which they hurt bisexual men.Aside from confusing people with regard to my sexuality, it also hurts my chances with straight women. (If anything, our relationship was far more physical than anything else.) “Then what’s the deal?In my freshmen year of college, a girl I was seeing for a few months ended the relationship because of my femininity. ” I asked her when she broke the news of our breakup. ” I asked, knowing her answer before she even said it.