You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse.One-night stands sounded pretty good to me; after two decades of marriage, I suspected it would do me good to play the field. I checked it out and decided, however, it was perhaps a bit too young for me.Gleeden, a site for married women looking for extra curricular activities, was not the right slipper for this Cinderella either. Their logic is that divorces with a home and children won’t be putting pressure on them for a home and children.By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.My friends in the US had warned me that online dating is a nightmare. A site for only good-looking people, at least I’d be able to look at the guy, but I was raw and afraid of rejection. There is a French version, but I wasn’t looking for a father for future children and didn’t want to limit myself.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.I did, and I think it explains why just about every man I met asked for a second date. The first weekend that my girls were off with their Dad, I decided it was time to meet some of the men I’d been chatting with.I organized a few coffee dates, nine to be exact; one for the morning, one for the afternoon, and one for the early evening on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.In six weeks I went from that lady at dinner parties with an adoring husband whispering, “You are the most beautiful woman in the room” to single mom-dom.Which is how I found myself dating online in Paris.