It is not there to serve you and give you things like happiness and self-esteem.It is not there to make you feel good about life and about yourself.
If I don’t hear from him by X day at Y time, then I am allowed to be upset about this,” and then just take it out of your mind.
This is But I realized that identifying the problem is only half the battle.
You invest mental energy in making sure things go a certain way. I have been guilty of stressing over past relationships. Things started out fun and light, I got excited about the possibilities…and then became scared that my imagined future wouldn’t come to be…and then panic set in.
This isn’t to say a relationship can’t do these things, it’s just that these aren’t the elements upon which a healthy relationship is built. A relationship is an experience to be had and shared.
A relationship also isn’t some sort of milestone, a sign that you have “made it,” that you will be OK, that you are now a member of some elite club. It is about discovering how compatible you are with someone else, and if there is enough chemistry and compatibility to form a lifelong partnership, also known as marriage.