“As a gay man from Bucks County, Pa., I thought dating would be easy in New York, but it didn’t prove to be so,” Dr. He said the worst part of dating was the anxiety over disclosing his H. Nevius, the man of her dreams may be paralyzed or blind, but there is one potential deal breaker: He must be an animal lover.
There’s no good time.” Awkward issues that come with an illness can be discussed frankly and openly in an online space in which everyone is dealing with something out of the ordinary.
Esti* had been dating someone for several weeks and felt that before continuing, she must let the guy in on her secret.
“It’s hard enough to find someone with similar interests,” she said. Other sites include No Longer Lonely, for adults with mental illness, and POZ Personals, for people who are H. They are usually free, although some have a few ads to cover costs. Maurer, 57, a professor of applied psychology at New York University, came upon POZ Personals while doing research for his work and found it to be a welcoming community where it was easier to get to know someone. “Like anyone else, people with disabilities have different preferences,” Ms. “Someone with good mobility may prefer someone also mobile; others don’t limit at all.” As for Ms.
Esti had been diagnosed with anxiety many years ago, but few people knew about it.
She regularly engages in psychotherapy and takes daily prescribed medication.
She lives in Normal, Ill., a town with few single men around her age, let alone familiar and comfortable with disability. with your disability just makes it harder.” So this fall Ms. Several dating Web sites for singles with health problems have started up in the last few years. Nevius joined Dating 4 Disabled, a site for people with an array of disabilities, including paralysis and multiple sclerosis. These sites are generally small and run by one person or a small group. Getting to know someone in an online community of people with H. Among the almost 12,000 members of Dating 4 Disabled, for example, many specify the types of disabilities they would be open to dealing with in a long-term relationship.
She is independent and mobile, but would prefer to meet a man who could roll alongside her. “I think they were a little bit scared because they didn’t know how to treat me,” she said. allows relationships to form without the burden of the big reveal hovering overhead. The site was created by Ricky Durham, whose late brother suffered from Crohn’s disease — a condition that came with literal baggage. The anonymity of the Internet allows people to be forthcoming and honest about what they are truly looking for in a companion.