This relationship boot camp comes with a Your marriage is at a crisis point.While divorce rates are high, there are relationships that can still survive this vulnerable time and you don’t have to be another statistic.The separation anxiety and desperation are an ugly place to be in for both of you and for others to see.You will feel and look unattractive – not one of us will be at our best here.People start to do an amazing reframe here and I often hear spouses wondering aloud with things like, “I am not sure I ever really loved him or her.” This is basically due to the suffocation the spouse feels.It becomes a survival issue and you are the danger they need to escape from.All the phone calls, text messages, letters, emails, and heart and gut wrenching pleas have failed.
Indeed, your very persistence is robbing your spouse of valuable time to think about what else is really going on your life.
OK, so you have tried everything, exhausted all your options, and feel hopeless and even helpless.
Now it is time to use the Last Resort Technique to save your marriage.
– Quit supplying you wife or husband with a reason to leave. I am asking you to stop doing the very thing that keeps the feeling of powerlessness and helplessness temporarily at bay. This means stopping anything that would be perceived by your spouse as your way of chasing him or her, such as: Stop saying “I love you.” This is essential. ” I get it, but even though this will be hard, know that every time you say “I love you,” your spouse is reminded that they don’t love you and will be looking the other way! That is why it is imperative to silence the “I Love You’s”. What happens in a crisis like separation is, we become desperate, clingy, and depressed.
You already feel how disheartening it is to hear their resigned response of “I know” or worse, still silence. You are in tears often, mope around sadly, lose interest in things you used to enjoy, and basically become lifeless as the fearful or rejected part of you shuts you down as a means to cope.