"Women see dirt and feel the mess that men don't see or feel," explained psychotherapist Marilyn Kagan, LCSW, who, with psychologist Neil Einbund, Ph D, leads the Making Marriage Work courses at American Jewish University in Los Angeles. Einbund agreed: "When I do the dishes, my wife will come in afterward and rinse out the sink because she doesn't think it's clean enough.
I look at the sink and it doesn't bother me."I was willing to concede our irreconcilable aesthetic differences, but not yet ready to cave on his cleaning up.
I could see by his bemused expression that it never occurred to him to look under the pot.
"I know you're tired, but I want to show you what works for me," I said, as cheerful as an infomercial.
" Not only did I succeed in getting his attention, I got him to spring into action.
He seemed pleased (and a bit shocked) when I thanked him afterward.
", like a frustrated teenager begging for the car keys. It's starting to stink." I could have left out the last part, I suppose, but I did get a response, although it wasn't the one I wanted: "I'll do it when I get back from the gym."Later, when the garbage remained unchanged (and still smelly), I upped my game and took the advice of Toni Coleman, LCSW, a relationship coach from Mc Lean, Virginia, who'd told me, "Your husband will respond better if you place a persuasive hand on his arm or back.Now, whenever I want him to take out the trash, I summon my kinder, gentler self.2. One of the goals in my Husband Whisperer experiment was to get my husband to clean up after himself.Normally, I would have to put away jars, boxes and whatever else he'd left behind on the kitchen counter after a snack., a 1998 weepy directed by and starring Robert Redford.He plays Tom Booker, a Montana wrangler/Zen master who helps a tomboy named Grace (Scarlett Johansson, then 13) and her horse, Pilgrim, overcome the trauma of a riding accident that left her leg partially amputated.