Yes, there have been times I’ve felt uncomfortable at bars because guys talk to my friends and not me, and if I notice a group of men snickering at me, that always makes me upset. When I started on BBW (Big Beautiful Women) dating sites, I got crazy amounts of e-mails.Before that, I didn’t understand that there were people out there who preferred a round body with curves and boobs and a butt and lots of fat.Ultimately everybody’s looking to get to the next level, and for many men in New York, a larger woman is the bottom level, regardless of what she’s like.There’s a misconception that plus-size girls are insecure in their bodies.
I had a few boyfriends every summer, and when I got really thin, I suddenly had a boyfriend back at school, too. After that it was back to the old way, and I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. I was always overweight, but when I got to Vassar I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.They like the feeling of being with someone who’s bigger than they are and the voluptuousness of another body.A man approached me on the subway when I was 24 and wanted my phone number desperately. I was once fooling around with someone I’d been out with a few times.I e-mailed and he wrote back, “I had fun making out with you—if you’re ever up for some more fun, let me know.” So then I knew that’s all he really wanted. So what’s the difference between hooking up with a fetishist and just hooking up with someone casually?He wasn’t like, “Hi, I’m a fetishist,” he just wants to have sex with random plus-size women. Is someone who likes plus-size girls a fetishist just because his preference isn’t mainstream?