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It seems that we are only ever likened to beasts or trophies and that in either case, we are not seen as human enough to have romantic relationships with.This kind of faulty mentality also leads black people trying to ‘uncomplicate’ their narrative by compartmentalizing themselves into these boxes so that we can be accommodating to any kind of person.Among my friends and on social media, I have noticed a common phenomenon around blackness in dating: people are masking their blatant anti-blackness with the common rhetoric that “they’re just not my type.” Dating apps like Tinder and Ok Cupid have definitely made it easier for white people to see black faces and immediately swipe left.However, I have also seen white friends and friends of color alike be more open to dating other nonblack races.I remember being offended and frustrated that she just assumed that just because dating either a white person or a person within her own race made the most sense to her, that I must share the same narrative.There is validity in non-black people of color wanting to date within their own race due to cultural similarities and the way they might move through the world with similar oppressions.The fact that white people and non-black people of color routinely rule out an entire race due to one common physical trait is not only insulting, but dangerous.It also says more about you and your own blissful ignorance than it ever does about black people’s beauty, and yet time and time again, it is black girls and boys who are left hating themselves for your carelessly clueless ideology.

Was this some rare coincidence or was a statement being made about how nonblack people view blackness in terms of physical attraction?I finally came to the conclusion that if this was really what my friends thought, then perhaps they should stay away from us.Black people are better off without your lethal rhetoric to pollute our lives and dismiss our realities.I guess if I reached for the stars, I could have interpreted her assumption as a *thoughtful* consideration for the complexities that acknowledging anti-blackness could bring into interracial relationships and so maybe she just assumed that I felt as a black person it would be easier to be attracted to another black person.But I doubt she was really out here pondering the nuances of anti-blackness in interracial relationships while eating Nachos Grande.

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